Tapping into Self-Compassion with Internal Family Systems

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy uses self-compassion to lend greater understanding to inner conflicts by identifying and relating to ourselves as made up of many “parts,” rather than one unified entity. Through this mindshift in understanding ourselves, we are then able to connect with our core Self, which embodies qualities of compassion, clarity, and curiosity. So, how do we do the work of Identifying Parts with Internal Family Systems? 

1. Recognize the Parts

IFS presumes we have different parts within ourselves. Each part has its own feelings, thoughts and behaviours, and has developed in response to our life experiences thus far. These parts can be Protectors (such as the inner critic), Exiles (holding painful emotions, experiences, and trauma), or Managers (who try to put out emotional pain at whatever cost). 

2. Taking a Non-Pathologizing Stance

IFS views all our parts as natural and not bad. In the words of IFS founder Richard Schwartz, there are No Bad Parts. All parts have developed their roles to protect us, often in response to past experiences or trauma. For example, if someone experiences anxiety in social situations, working with an IFS-informed therapist may help them identify the part of them that feels anxious, and better understand its motivations to be anxious (perhaps to avoid potential rejection as it has done in the past). 

After we have identified our parts, we may then take some time to connect with our own Self Energy. Self Energy exists in all of us, and is a compassionate and wise part of each individual. How do we further connect with our Self-Energy using Internal Family Systems therapy? 

3. Accessing the Self

Your Therapist will help you access this Self-Energy, characterized by qualities like calm, clarity, compassion and curiosity. For example, by recognizing our socially anxious part, the individual can then access their Self-Energy, which may respond with compassion and understanding toward the anxious part. 

Having accessed our Self-Energy, we may then be able to cultivate Self-Compassion, approaching our parts with understanding and acceptance, rather than judgement. This shift allows for a more compassionate relationship with our parts, which lends itself to greater emotional regulation and inner harmony. 

For example, rather than criticize our anxious parts for feeling that way, we may, guided by Self-Energy, offer reassurance and support, allowing our anxious parts to feel less fearful and more supported in social situations. 

Conclusion: 

The benefits of Internal Family Systems are numerous, and are not limited to, but include: 

If you are seeking IFS-informed therapy in Vancouver, we are here to walk this journey with you! Contact us today for a free 20-minute consultation to see if it’s a good fit. We look forward to hearing from you!